Kilian Race

 'Doesn't matter if its a boy or a girl, just that they're healthy.'

At 18 weeks pregnant we found out we were having a little boy. Unfortunately, the excitement of that quickly faded when we then heard the word 'anomalies' and suddenly faced every parents worse fear.

After multiple ultrasounds and echos over the next few months we had a list of those anomalies and were referred to Childrens Hospital in Milwaukee. An appointment for a fetal MRI was scheduled for 33 weeks, but someone had other plans.

Kilian Race made his grand debut on April 25th, at 4 pounds little, 16.5 inches long, and 2 months early.

He was quickly transported to Milwaukee in critical condition and thankfully, made it. Born with one lung, one (pelvic) kidney, Dextrocardia (heart on the 'right' side), Ventriculomegaly, Congenital Heart Defects, and severe Pulmonary Hypertension, the odds were stacked against him.

However, he has amazed us and his team of doctors with his strength, and has greatly improved in just a short time. His fight is far from over and the road ahead is long, but his determination has given us all hope that he will make it thru and eventually come home with us.

This blog serves purpose as a way to keep all interested updated with the latest on his condition and hopefully continued progress, and also a place for me to express my thoughts and emotions (because I have a lot these days, so bear with me on that!). Our monkey has a lot of things going, but we trust we are right where we are supposed to be.

I have a saying tattooed on my arm, Que Sera Sera, 'whatever will be, will be,' that serves as a constant reminder to take a deep breath, and step forward. I look at it often these days as I long for him to be laying here next to me, and it helps me to focus on the little accomplishments that take us closer to that reality.  

I hope to one day look back at this to remember a time where we found strength to trust in the path we are all on, simply enjoying the moments we have with no reservations or fear of what the future may or may not hold. If it can possibly give someone the strength they need to face their own path, I'm happy to share the experience. And if this experience means I get to have time with Kilian, however long I'm granted, well then I think it'll all be worth it. 

"On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered, life will never be the same, because there had never been anyone like you..ever in the world."