7/9

This morning I woke up, and immediately started crying. I'm so over this.

I just wanted to lay in bed until the sun sets on day number 38 without Kilian.

Almost 900 hours.

Over 53,000 minutes.

And my heart swears he died yesterday.

Tommorow will be day 39. The same number of days he was here. The same number of days he had before he had to leave. The number of days it took the universe to completely shred me to pieces and flip my world upside down.

The best number in the world.

The number of days I was allowed to stare at him. The number of days my heart was so full. The number of days I had my two out of four. The number of days I will forever look back on and wonder, if only.